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My trip to the Dept of Pharmaceuticals for an 11:30 appt with Davendra Chaudhary went like this:

11:20: Arrived at "Employee Gate" and denied entrance
11:22: Arrived at "General Gate" and waited then signed in
11:24: Arrived at Inner Entrance 2, scanned belongings, waited to sign in, and was told I had to Entrance 3
11:25: Arrived at Inner Entrance 3, waited to sign in, singed in, scanned belongings and proceeded to Davendra Chaudhary's office
11:30: Waited for elevator and went to Floor 3, was re-directed to Floor 2
11:33: Went to Ashok Kumar's office, found out he and Chaudhary were meeting inside and was re-directed to wait in Davendra Chaudhary's office on Floor 3
11:40: Found Davendra Chaudhary's office and was told to wait
11:42: Saw mouse run behind covered box in a poorly ventilated sitting area
11:50: Was summoned by Chaudhary's PA in the adjoining office area
11:55: "Peon" was sent to Ashok Kumar's office with note, explaining my presence in Chaudhary's office
11:57: "Peon" returned, explaining Kumar and Chaudhary could not see me
11:58: Chaudhary's PA told me to go home because Chaudhary had a noon appt and would not be able to see me. PA requested me to fax a request for a new mtng. I explained that Chaudhary had requested the mtng originally and I would return only once Chaudhary confirmed he did, in fact, want a meeting. I was asked, once again, to fax a request.
12:07: Auto driver agreed to drive me home for Rs 50
12:42: Missed call from Chaudhary's office
12:45: Auto driver gave me Rs 20 change on a Rs 100 bill, claiming he had told me Rs 80 when I got into the auto
1:01: I saw missed call and spoke with Chaudhary, requesting me to come for a mtng. I politely informed him I could not return today and requested another time. We scheduled for Wed.
1:15: Chaudhary's PA called back to inform me Wed is a holiday and to prepone the mtng to Mon, 11 AM

Round 2 commences Monday morning . . .

how I was sold a pile of shit, literally

Wednesday morning, the gardener who had watered my plants continuously said "khad" and pointed to the plants. A friend confirmed that he was saying "manure."
This morning, I opened my bedroom door and found four small bags of manure lying on my terrace. As I walked across the terrace, my gardener cum car washer came jumping over the terrace wall. He asked for 20 rupees. I had only 50 rupees and he did not have change. He began digging up my plants and pouring manure on top. He explained that the bags were 50 rupees each and I had given him 180 rupees Thursday so I owed him 20 rupees. I began feeling badly that I thought I had paid him the 180 rupees for February's work when I had really only paid him for the manure.
Five minutes later, he came over and explained how 50 rupees was actually what I owed him: 20 rupees for the manure + 30 rupees for labor. No change was necessary. Of course, I already felt badly for not paying him for Feb so I obligingly paid him the 50 rupees.
After he left, I realized I still had manure from when we planted the greens originally. I opened the bag, which was at least as large as the four bags he bought combined. My bag was 60 rupees total! I bought the shit. Boy, am I gullible sometimes.