i wanted to type out something while awaiting the Citibank Rep who's avoiding me these days (i may not be the easiest customer with whom he works). i've been thinking a lot about the emotional highs & lows that humans experience, based upon their outward experiences. For example, I leave for India after four weeks in North America and I have the "post-US blues." Or money's tight, work's slow in coming, and the world feels like it's crumbling. the interesting part is that faith pulls (or drags) us through these experiences but it seems that God fights for us in those moments. i surely didn't feel like a fighter, sobbing while checking FB updates in the middle of the night while missing the folks i'd just left in the US. but somehow God pulled me out of the literal night and into a new day.
i write this because it's important to recognize that you are not the only one who feels like this sometimes. i've felt this and most people reading this have probably experienced low points when it felt like nothing was happening yet everything was falling apart. "this isn't the life i imagined," we exclaim & yet, from outward appearances, it probably IS pretty darn close. india, running a company, amazing boyfriend, supportive family, more than making ends meet, trying to change the world, interacting with like-minded people. wow, it's just about EXACTLY what i imagined!
while i'm @ it, i'll note that i think going through the emotions is imperative. we can't differentiate the highlights of the peaks without the shadows of the valleys. the canvas would be nondescript and uninspiring without challenges. we're not bad or wrong for feeling down and out. these times provide impetus for God to be strong on my behalf & i'm grateful for such grace.